IndependEd's Day Ed, Edd n Eddy's 4th of July
by Tnelson711
Summary: It's that time of year again - Fireworks, sparklers, etc. Ed has stashed sparklers and fireworks for this momentous day. So the Eds decide to host a party celebrating it For a nominal fee, of course . Oneshot, and REVIEW!


IndependEds Day

By Tfiction

* * *

9 AM.

* * *

"Now, Ed, calm down!" said Edd, worrying to no end. On this very day, Ed was literally bouncing off walls to a point that the walls were starting to crack. Ed looked as though he was trying to find something. That's exactly what he was trying to do – find something.

"Must find! Hidden stash! Today's the day! AAAAAH!" Ed panicked.

"Sheesh, Monobrow," said Eddy. "you sure are acting strange today."

"Guys!" Ed shouted. "Can you find a button anywhere?"

"A button? Ed, you maniac, you know what happens when you push buttons!" Eddy said jokingly.

"For all our sakes, let's hope it's not the back button," Edd said. In a far away land, a gentle crack formed in the legendary formation known as the fourth wall. But that's not the point of this story.

Eddy sat down on a chair to relax while Ed spazzed some more. "This'll take a while," Eddy groaned.

CLICK!

Suddenly, on Ed's wall (to the left of Ed's bed), a huge sliding door opened. Inside the big door was a secret, hidden room with plenty of space. Also inside it was another door.

"Ed, what have you kept from us!!!" Edd shouted in amazement.

"My secret stash!" Ed shouted with glee.

Eddy's eyes lit up. "IS THE SECRET STASH FILLED WITH JAWBREAKERS?!"

"A whole collection of fossils?" Edd asked.

"Nope," Ed said, wagging his finger. He opened the door to reveal a whole bunch of plump, arrow-headed sticks, thin sticks in a package, and much more. Fireworks, firecrackers, and sparklers!

"Ed, it's dangerous to keep fireworks and such," Edd scolded. "But why have you kept these in here?"

Ed smiled a big smile. He burst out, "TODAY IS THE FOURTH OF JULY!"

Edd and Eddy stared blankly at Ed for a minute. "Oh that's right!" Edd said, slapping his forehead. "How could I forget? Today's Independence Day, commemorating the adoption of the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, 1776, declaring independence from the Kingdom of Great Britain."

Ed obviously had no clue what Edd just said, and Eddy just stared at Edd.

"Why were you trying to find them anyway?" Eddy asked.

"My mom and my dad always want to shoot fireworks on 4th of July!" Ed said with a smile.

"That's nice, Ed, but don't you think that fireworks are a bit dangerous? Despite it being tradition...! ED!" Edd asked, before Ed accidentally lit one. Edd put out the fire on the wick. "NOT INDOORS!"

"Sorry, Double D," Ed said.

Suddenly, amidst the confusion, Eddy put on a greedy grin.

"Ed, Eddy has that insidious look again," Edd said worrying.

"Eddy should eat more carrots," Ed said idiotically.

"Guys!" Eddy said. "If today's fourth of July, then this means there will be fireworks! And the kids would love to have a sparklers and a flag to celebrate. You know what this means?

Edd said, enticed with sarcasm, "Oh, that's a tough one, Eddy. You have me stumped completely. That question is a complex one, but I'll take a guess. A _scam_?"

"Not just any scam, Double D," Eddy said. "A Party! At Noon, we'll start the party, and let the kids get sparklers for the celebration! For a nominal fee, of course And when it's time, we launch and watch fireworks!"

Edd was stunned. "While I'm happy that you want to celebrate Independence Day, I draw the line at launching-"

"_PARTY AT EDDY'S HOUSE!_" Ed shouted happily.

"Yup..... hey, when did we decide that we would host the party at my house?" Eddy asked.

"When me and Double D spoiled for ourselves a preview of the script by Tfiction," Ed said idiotically. In the fourth wall, the crack grew bigger.

Again, Ed shouted, "PARTY AT EDDY'S HOUSE!" He ran off to get things set off. Edd followed Ed.

"Here's hoping no one gets hurt," Edd said. Eddy was about to object, but seeing that no one would agree with him, he followed them muttering,

"I need to ask my mother about this."

* * *

Later that day

* * *

Everyone had received an invite to the party. Yes, even Kevin. It was hard to convince them to come, but when they heard that they were going to launch fireworks, they wanted to come.

"Alright, Jonny-boy," said Eddy to the first sucker- I mean customer, Jonny. "You want to join this party?"

"You bet, Eddy! Me and Plank love fireworks!" Jonny said excitedly.

"That'll be fifty cents," Eddy began, before looking at Plank. "each."

Jonny forked over a buck and went inside. Next up were Nazz, Rolf, Jimmy, and Sarah (to keep an eye on Ed and make sure he gets home in time to launch the fireworks). Next up was Kevin.

"So, you dorks finally celebrate the 4th of July, huh Dorky?"

Eddy fumed. "Yep. We've got fireworks, sparklers, punch, and lots of hot dogs! That'll be fifty cents, Kev."

Kevin smirked, and took out $.50. Unfortunately, Eddy had to pick it up off the floor, for Kevin intentionally dropped the coins on the floor. "Dorks."

Once everyone was settled in, Eddy announced that sparklers were up for sale.

"Ladies and Germs, the sparklers are up for sale! Get them while they're in stock!" shouted Eddy.

Soon, the sparkler stand was filled with wanting customers.

"Gentlemen," Edd said. "These sparklers are to be set off when the fireworks start around 9 PM. For the customer's safety-"

"Only a quarter," Eddy said, jumping on Edd's head before Edd could relay the safety precautions.

Everyone gave Eddy two quarters (Jonny three) for two (Jonny three) sparklers. Well, everyone but Kevin.

"Oh, and how are we supposed to know that these won't kill us?" Kevin said with a sneer.

Edd tried to reassure that the sparklers were safe if the customers would follow all safety precautions, but the insult already got to Eddy. "Why you!"

"I'm just saying that they might be dangerous."

"They are dangerous if you mess with mine!" Eddy said, holding and igniting his sparkler.

Kevin bought a sparkler, opened the package up, and ignited his. "Let's go, Dorky!"

Very soon, the most epic of all battles, Eddy vs Kevin in a lightsaber duel, (okay, a sparkler duel, but at least the effects are cool) began.

"Your move, dorky," said Kevin.

"Rolf knows the fire sticks of the day of independence were used for entertainment, but the son-of-a-Shepard did not know they were used to duel," Rolf commented.

"I don't know who to root for either, Plank," said Jonny.

"Go Kevin!" Nazz shouted, making Kevin blush.

"YOU CAN DO IT, EDDY!" Ed shouted.

"Jeepers, I can't watch, Sarah," Jimmy said, covering his eyes.

"Me neither, Jimmy," said Sarah, covering her eyes as well, but opening her fingers a bit to watch anyway.

"Gentlemen,_ PLEASE!_" Edd complained, but no one listened to him.

Suddenly, Eddy swung his sparkler at Kevin, who blocked it with his. Surprisingly, it had no effect on the stick. "First one hit loses."

"I wouldn't count on me getting hit," Kevin retorted, and lunged towards Eddy. Eddy blocked the lunge with great effort. Like a Jedi and a Sith clashing their lightsabers in a battle for peace, Kevin and Eddy clashed their sparklers. Before long, Kevin had Eddy on the ropes, He had his arm grabbed, and Kevin's sparkler near Eddy's neck.

"Say Uncle, dork," said Kevin.

Suddenly, Eddy kicked Kevin in the butt, and put him in the air, letting Eddy hit Kevin's leg, thus winning the duel.

"WOOHOO! I WIN!" Eddy shouted.

Kevin got up and grabbed his leg. "You got lucky this time, dork," Kevin muttered.

* * *

While Eddy was celebrating, everyone failed to notice three suspicious figures enter the party. Only when Eddy finally realized it was it too late.

"Hello, Eddy!" said Lee Kanker.

"KANKERS!" shouted everyone.

"Who hosts a party and doesn't invite us?" said Marie with a malevolent grin on her face.

"No one don't invite us," said May.

"Watch your grammar, May," said Edd.

"Sowee," said May in her cutest voice yet.

"Enough small talk, let's get on with the lurve!" said Lee.

"AAAAAAAHHHH!"

The Kankers took their little Eds ("Jonny-boy, take over for Eddy, would ya?" Lee asked) into the bathroom for some Independent Kissing.

* * *

Seven Hours Later. 8:59 PM

* * *

Ed, Edd and even Eddy walked out of the bathroom, completely messy with kiss marks.

"How's the fort holding up, Jonny?" asked Ed.

"It's going good, Ed!" said Jonny.

And how right was he! For everyone was dancing to 4th of July music (Like Yankee Doodle), Kevin was doing a dance with Nazz ala 13 colonies, and Rolf was being amused by a sparkler.

"Good job, Jonny! Remind me to give you a nickel when this is all done," said Eddy.

"A quarter," said Jonny.

"A nickel," argued Eddy.

"Oh dear," sighed Edd. "Here we go again.

"Two quarters," said Jonny.

"_A nickel,_" argued Eddy.

"Three quarters!" said Jonny.

"_**A NICKEL!... **_Wait, where's Plank?" asked Eddy.

"He's over there playing with his sparkler," said Jonny pointing to the piece of termite food and his sparkler... which fell onto a wick of the fireworks."

"Oh dear," panicked Edd. "THE FIREWORKS ARE GOING TO GO OFF! EVERYONE GO OUTSIDE! DON'T PANIC!"

Unfortunately, everyone did. It was an unwritten rule to panic when someone says _don't panic_.

Jonny pushed the button, then ran outside with everyone. The button made a hole in the ceiling open for the fireworks to go out of.

As everyone went out, Eddy confronted Jonny. "This is all your fault, Jonny!"

"My fault? It's not my fault Plank is clumsy with a wooden board!"

"Dorks," said Kevin. "That was a suck-ish party, ruined even more by the firework-happy board! We want out money back!"

Suddenly, everyone surrounded the Eds.

"Hey! I earned that fair and square!" Eddy argued.

Suddenly, at 9 PM, the fireworks went up into the air, one by one, into the sky to blow up and make a light show. Everyone marveled at the beautiful sight of the show, and forgot about talking refunds.

"Way cool!" shouted Jonny.

"Rolf is amazed at the show of the sky made by fire."

"Dude, this is awesome!" said Nazz.

"Sarah," said Jimmy.

"Yes Jimmy?"

"I want to do this all night."

"Me too!"

"Dude," said Kevin, turning to the Eds. "Even though the party was bad, I have to admit, the fireworks are good."

Eddy did not know whether to smile or not at the compliment. For now, they watched fireworks.

"Look!" said Edd. "That one looks like a scientific equation!"

"That one," said Eddy, pointing to a very round one. "looks like a Jawbreaker!"

"One of them looks like buttered toast!" said Ed. He looked at Sarah. "Oh no! I forgot! I have to be home for 4th of July!" Ed ran home with Sarah to meet up with their parents.

Pretty soon, everyone started to go home. Only Edd and Eddy remained.

"Sigh..." said Eddy. "You know, despite everything that went on tonight, I kinda felt good... in a way."

"Why is that, Eddy?" asked Edd.

"I let everyone have a sparkler, and I promised I'd put on a good light show. I've kept that promise.. and now I feel happy!"

Edd smiled. "That's because you've done something nice for everyone, and now everyone is proud of you."

The two of them shared a moment for the good feeling to last. When the good feeling was over, Eddy had a greedy grin on his face. "We should do this again on New Years Eve! We'd make even more money!"

Edd sighed. "Eddy, despite the good thing you did tonight, you still haven't changed."

"Tomorrow, we get Jawbreakers after lunch!" Eddy said, before going to his house to go to bed. Edd took a last look at the fireworks. He turned to his house. "I really must get home as well. I don't like to stay up for it disrupts my sleeping patterns." He ran towards his house to go to bed. Everyone failed to notice that the last fireworks were pictures of the faces of Ed, Edd, and Eddy.

THE END

* * *

W00T! This was a great story, if I do say so myself. Before I say my trademark, I'd like to tell you that by Popular Demand, I will make a sequel to Ed Abuse, this one having to do with Eddy and a certain someone. Okay, that's all. REVIEW! And Happy 4th of July! Now go watch those fireworks!


End file.
